HOW TO FIND TRUE LOVE BY BEING THE STRONGEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN!
When I think of true love, it goes beyond an insane attraction but also someone you can build a life with. Someone you can fight with in a productive way and someone you miss every time they leave the room. My true love is also my best friend. Before this relationship, my ex and I were together almost 10 years! And wow was it hard to leave but I knew that he was not the person I could create a life with. He was selfish, enabled, and entitled.

THE PLUNGE…BUT NOT THAT PLUNGE!
I would threaten him that if he didn’t get his act together I would leave. He didn’t think I would leave because I was (and still am) a scaredy cat. I do not like being alone, not in general but alone in a house at night to be more specific. I watch many scary movies and A LOT of Law and Order! I have to admit, other than leaving his daughter, being scared was my 2nd reason for holding on so long. Enough was enough, I had to move on. I was angry every single day. Not only did he not consider me as a partner, he was not the type of person I wanted to be partners with. Honesty was something I had to get down and dirty with. After receiving my tax refund and reaching for the little cushion I managed to save, I found an apartment. My friend went with me to sign the papers for the apartment so I had support which was and is of tremendous importance. Then I planned a day when nobody was home, and took the day off work and had my 3 friends move me out in 4 hours!

SAD FOR SO LONG
That night was my first night living absolutely alone without a boyfriend or roommate. I remember liking it but crying myself to sleep because everything I grew accustomed to was suddenly over. I made sure I kept busy so I worked 3 jobs and hung out with friends. Crying was my 4th job..it was something I did almost every day or night for 2 years. I felt lost.

TIME TRULY DOES HEAL
Then one day I woke up and felt a little different, a better different, a stronger different! Then, even better the next day, and the day after that! I decided to set new goals professionally and personally and I wrote them down on a piece of paper. On an envelope, I wrote “Open on (the date 1 year from then). One of my goals was to own a home. Town houses sounded more my style since I knew I could find a layout perfect for me, a single woman who was scared at night! My search began and after looking at 100 places, I found the perfect home! After the rigorous paperwork that goes into buying a home, I moved in and started decorating. I had it painted and had so much fun looking and bargaining for cute decor! Grocery shopping was on my weekly To-Do…I made myself gourmet dinners and drank mediocre wine. I would wind down in my new comfy abode and along with my dinner I would enjoy a great movie or book. I truly felt liberated and independent. My gym playlist changed from “I Will Survive to I Am a Survivor” on repeat.

MY TRUE LOVE
Then one day by the powers that be, I received a message from a man on none other, FACEBOOK! I was not interested in dating anyone but I’m a nice gal…I replied. We messaged for a while which eventually turned into the exchanging of phone numbers and direct text messaging. My first impression of him wasn’t the best but again I entertained the idea of maybe one date only because he was EXTREMELY PERSISTENT AND FUNNY…ok and a little cute! I finally decided to quit shooting down the poor guy and meet him for a drink. I’ve never laughed so much on a date or with anyone for that matter. I had no idea what was in store but in retrospect, I am glad I dove in heart first because I realize now, we were meant to be. It has been one heck of a ride and we still experience disagreements, of course, especially with blended family life but our relationship is the best it’s ever been. I think part of what makes us work is because he and I both had something to contribute and bring to the table. Looking back, I am thankful I didn’t settle. Maybe I wasn’t quite ready to find my Mr. Right, I had some lessons to learn. It turns out I had to be lost to find my way.

Do you have a beautiful love story mamas? If so e-mail me at mamabear@savvymamablog.com!