3 THINGS NOT TO DO

AHHHHHHHHH……the early relationship bliss, where everything is hearts and unicorns. A place so magical that we can’t imagine life before this person. He is without a doubt, your dream man, the person you’ve been waiting for your whole life, your knight in shining armor, the embodiment of perfection.

Before you know it, your whirlwind romance has been so intense and crazy like one extra long Spring Break. You wake up and everything is a blur alongside your positive pregnancy test (more on that in later posts).

Meeting the kids no longer becomes an “If”, it becomes a “When.”

Reality is upon us and the honeymoon phase is wearing off , the time is here….the time to meet the children is NOW!

Here are 3 things NOT to do mamas! Here goes nothin…

1. DON’T BE THEIR BUDDY!

Ok ok I know this is the OPPOSITE of what we are told to be in the beginning but hear me (or read me) out!  I do believe we should be a friend as opposed to throwing ourselves immediately into a parental or mom role, however, this one is a slippery slope. Maintain the respectable  “I’m the adult” status but don’t go overboard. This is so they know not to treat you like their peer but remember, respect should be mutual!

 You can take an interest in what they like too. I have always been a fan of side-by-side activities such as playing video games together, coloring, painting, and arcade time (whatever is age appropriate). One-on-one time where you have to directly interact could be uncomfortable or awkward for both of you in the very beginning.

2. DON’T BUY GIFTS!

It’s important to win this little human’s affections by spending time together having conversation, and sharing experiences, not “buying” their acceptance. You will have plenty of time to shower them with things later if you choose to do so! The best gift you can give is your time and attention!

3. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU ARE THEIR MOM!

I mentioned this above already but this one can be tricky, we as women instinctively want to nurture. In the dictionary, the word “nurture” means “training,” “upbringing,” and “something that nourishes.” I understand not ALL women are like this but I know I can identify with these terms as well as the majority of women who are in my life. We have this innate desire to raise children and raise them right, not saying their mother and father are not but we can’t help ourselves! We want to help too and I strongly believe in this statement, “It take a village to raise a child.” Especially in today’s society.

Early in the relationship, there really isn’t a need to be the disciplinarian. Obviously if the child is in your care and in an imminent danger do what you gotta do. Right now your job is to be your partner’s support system. Have a talk with your partner early on regarding his parenting style and what both of your expectations are, this way you can agree on what’s best for your family at this time and if something else evolves later then so be it.

Mamas, every situation and relationship is unique. These are some helpful approaches that I either applied or wish I applied! Again, do what works best for you and yours!