IT STARTS EARLY

You know how when you look back on your childhood and you have this epiphany as to why you are the way you are? I think on average this happens in your thirties (if ever), a few lucky ones will realize in their 20s. For me, I am in my late thirties and I realize something new every day about why I act the way I act, feel the way I feel, and think the way I think. I reflect often, quite frankly, a little too often!

If any of you can relate to this, you probably think “Wow mom, I love that you did that when I was little” or “Geez dad, I wasn’t too fond of that so I’m going to change that when I have children.” Either way we all look at our childhood and learn to appreciate or not appreciate what we experienced. 

CULTURAL COMPETENCE?

For me, I didn’t hear the term “cultural competence” until I was a teacher and my administration was observing me in my classroom. My students were 80% Hispanic, 14% African American, and the rest a mix of Caucasian, Indian, Asian, etc. To me, being around my students was very normal because I grew up around diversity. I didn’t know it was a category on my evaluation as a teacher. When I taught and my boss was watching me, I didn’t know this “cultural competence” was even a thing!

My administrator happened to be Hispanic and told me that he knew what to look for. He said I did a great job of treating all of my students with fairness and equality. “Thank you I suppose” was my response. If you look up the definition of “cultural competence” you will see there are variations but the one that my boss was talking about is shown below.

You see, when I reflect upon my childhood I realize how lucky I was. Not only to have been raised around a colorful rainbow of friends but for also having my role model/mother have friends of all colors, sexual orientations, who possess different religious and political beliefs.

Today, I look at what is happening all around me and I am, in one word, GRATEFUL. I am not ignorant to our history. I read. It makes me sick to know what went on and even more sick to know it is still happening today. It’s repugnant and exhausting. I am tired of  watching people I love having to deal with prejudice and hatred. Remember love is our natural state and hate is learned. I remember this and know I am fortunate to have been raised the way I was. To have an open heart and non-bias. I will not let this cause a divide.

On the other side of the coin, I have friends who were raised in small rural towns who were raised around all white people. I also have friends who were raised around all black people. They weren’t exposed to differences by no fault of their own of course. This is just the way it was! As parents, we can do so much more. We have the most important job in the entire world! We are raising and molding PEOPLE! This is BIG TIME. This is a job that we should not take lightly.

Let’s think of our parent “powers” as a chance to do some good, wait scratch that, some GREAT in this world! I don’t know about you but I don’t want to sit back and watch what’s going to happen next. I know this might be cliche but we really do have to BE the change! 

My pledge is to be better for my kids. Let’s try and do our best at raising our kids to be not only happy, healthy, successful, resourceful, contributing members of society but also something that is of great significance…CULTURALLY COMPETENT!

Here are 3 simple ways to help you raise a culturally competent kiddo!

1. KIDS DO WHAT YOU DO-NOT WHAT YOU SAY! This applies to E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! Kids watch you when you’re not watching. They see everything. They watch how you talk to others, how to treat others, if you’re smiling, your non-verbal language. Everything. Remember to treat all with kindness and love. This alone will go so far with making your children kind people and helping them see the good in everybody. And I don’t know about you but I want my kids to grow up seeing the good. This world can be ugly and is filled with so much bad but guess what? There is so much beauty and our happiness depends on how we CHOOSE to view the world!
2. Do not shelter your kids! I know we want to keep them safe from the world and all of the riffraff, however, it is crucial that kids get a peek at what the world actually looks like. If possible, have your kids around diversity. Summer camps and recreational sports are awesome for kids so they are exposed to all kinds of ethnicities and cultures. I also think great T.V. shows can expose your kids to diversity. One of my favorite shows to watch with my tween is The Flash! It has positive messages too! Win-Win!
3. Ancestry or 23andMe are great resources to take advantage of! Order these kits with your children and patiently await the results! It is so much fun to see your heritage! It usually will send you a pie chart of what your DNA is! Lets say you’re 63% Irish, 13% Italian, and 24% Middle Eastern, celebrate all of these cultures with maybe learning some cool things to say in the native language and plan special dinners! Discuss with friends and cousins what their ethnicity is and make it exciting! It’s so wonderful when we can celebrate our differences. I would always tell my students and I know I will say this more to my kids as they grow, “How boring would this world be if we were all the same?” That’s right! Pretty darn boring! This will hopefully allow us to release any division we have been taught through silent and not so silent messages throughout our childhood.

Remember to have an open mind and realize that sometimes people just don’t know. Encourage your children to be friends with everybody. Take the time to get to know someone’s heart, not someone’s skin color. People are people. I hope this article helps and finds you all in a healthy and safe place! If you have any ideas for me, please don’t hesitate to e-mail or comment!